Living Free

Are you familiar with the term performance anxiety? Maybe you know of it because you, a fellow teammate or friend have experienced it. Or maybe you know of it because of news or social media attention. With endless information at our fingertips let us explore a true picture of performance anxiety using a biblical worldview. God’s word gives wisdom and understanding of the “why” behind it and what can be done to overcome it.  

Let us start by looking at anxiety in general and the misinformation that is out there.

Having anxiety is a problem. - The American Psychological Association defines anxiety as an emotion characterized by apprehension and somatic symptoms of tension in which an individual anticipates impending danger, catastrophe, or misfortune. As an emotion it can manifest physically such as nausea or heart racing. However, just experiencing anxiety or anxiousness does not mean it is a problem or that you are not supposed to. Anxiety is an emotion. As humans we are created with a wide range of emotions. Everyone experiences anxiety at one time or another and/or at various levels.

All anxiety is bad. – Experiencing the wide range of emotions, we are created with can have a purpose. In healthy doses, anxiety can alert us to a danger or problem. If a true danger is present, it can initiate our “fight or flight” response. On the other hand, signs that anxiety is unhealthy is when it alerts us to threats/dangers that are not really threats/dangers, intense physical symptoms and/or the frequency of it is debilitating interfering with daily life tasks.

A diagnosis of an anxiety related disorder means I will suffer from this for the rest of my life. – This is just not true. There is a lot to the mental health assessment and treatment of anxiety related disorders and for the purpose of what I am speaking to today I will not go in dept to that. However, there are treatments that are successful in treating and overcoming anxiety related disorders. Also know not every experience or incident of anxiety is diagnosed as a disorder but skills and strategies may still be needed to help overcome it.   

Now let us look specifically at performance anxiety. The American Psychological Association’s definition of performance anxiety states it is an apprehension and fear of the consequences of being unable to perform a task or of performing it at a level that will raise expectations of even better task achievement. Performance anxiety is not a new issue. Throughout history we see incidents of individuals suffering from performance anxiety although it may not have been noted by that name. For example, in my younger years the common term I heard was “stage fright.” This term did not just apply to actors, but anyone who found themselves struggling to perform a task in front of a group (large or small).

One of the biggest pressure filled situations where we are expected to perform in front of a large group of enthusiastic, at times hostile, people is in the sports arena. For some athletes that environment is what pushes or motivates them. For some that might be why they pursue that sport. The thrill and energy of it all. For others it could be what holds them captive to self-defeating beliefs, unbearable physical symptoms, fear and a desire to walk away from their sport.

Why does this happen? Let us take what was discussed about anxiety in general and incorporate it with the performance piece. If anxiety has the purpose of alerting me to a possible danger or threat and I am experiencing increasing anxiety when it comes to performing in my sport (whether it’s in practice, during a game or even coming back from an injury) what could it be alerting me to? What is the danger or threat? Although, the details of what is experienced may differ such as how the physical symptoms present or the current circumstances faced, the underlying common danger or threat is the unhealthy amount of weight or significance placed on either ourselves, that individual performance or the sport altogether.

As humans we all have the ability of interpretation. Example, we can look at a picture of a dog. Most of us do not just tell ourselves “That is a dog”. What we do is we add an interpretation to that such as “Aww that is a cute dog” or “That dog looks mean” or “Forget the dog show me a cat”. That interpretation tells us what that person, thing, situation, circumstance, etc. means to us. Depending on that meaning, it will have a certain amount of weight, value or significance. This can be very individually based because as individuals we have different personalities, experiences, beliefs and so on.

We may be able to clearly identify and communicate the symptoms we are experiencing relating to our anxiety such as dizziness, nausea, hands trembling, mind racing or shortness of breath. However, trying to figure out or process through what is the unhealthy weight or significance that we are crumbling under is where we may need help. Our interpretations, meanings and beliefs can be so engrained that it is hard to understand them as a viewing lens that can be changed.

I want to share mental health help that comes from God’s word. Maybe you have never thought about your mental health through the lens of your faith, but I will challenge you to do so. Mental health and our faith are often viewed separate or independent of each other, but that is just not true. Having a personal relationship with Jesus will help you view yourself, other people and the world through a biblical worldview which will include your mental health. The bible is full of relatable accounts of individuals suffering through the same things we do today and seeing how God worked through them and at times healed them can guide us today. We are going to take a dive into Exodus and learn about Moses’s experience with what sounds a lot like what we may describe as performance anxiety.
 

Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.

And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. All who declare that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.

God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgement, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.
1 John 4: 11-17 (NLT)

 

As the year closes out, I look back in review and see numerous opportunities I was presented with to love people. I am sure you can relate as we all have various people and relationships in our lives that involve different dynamics and interactions. With that I have concluded, and maybe again you can relate, that loving people can be hard. Loving imperfect people in our own imperfectness can be exhausting and overwhelming. This holiday season has personally brought me challenging loving people situations that led me to seeking encouragement and support. I wanted to share what I found and maybe you need that encouragement as well.

The scripture above reminded me that since God loves us so much, we are called to love each other. As God’s love fills me, it overflows out of me to others. Picture washing a vase in the sink. The vase is directly under the running faucet just filling up with water. Does the running water just remain in the vase? No. As the vase is continually filled with water, the water overflows out of the vase. God is the faucet, his love the water and we are the vase. When we open ourselves to be that vase not only do those around us benefit, but God blesses us. We receive the gift of Him living in us and He allows us to be included us in His full expression of love.

Another necessary factor in loving people is the gift of the Holy Spirit. We simply cannot do it alone. Loving others from our own reasoning, purposes, or strength I truly believe would not look the same. When we have the Holy Spirit guiding how we love others it points others to God. It helps us to love not trusting in people and how they will receive that love or pay us back. Instead, we love freely trusting in a God that loved us so much that He sent his son, Jesus to save the world.  

Lastly, is the powerful image of entering into judgement day with confidence. Not a confidence boasting of our own success or strength in loving people. We see enough examples of that in our world to know what that confidence looks like. This assurance would be because we lived like Jesus here in this world. How does that look? Jesus’s response in Matthew 22: 37 -40 gives us clarity:

 

Loving people like Jesus is not easy and will not come naturally. If it did why would we need Him? If you are feeling weighed down or overwhelmed by loving others that may be a sign you are trying to do it on your own accord and are carrying more of the weight than you should. Take time to refocus yourself and make sure the source of your love is God’s love in you (pray, read God’s word, engage in praise and worship). You may also need to replenish yourself physically and emotionally (get a good night of rest, talk with a fellow believer, exercise, or enjoy some quality time with your family). Loving people is never an option. Do not miss an opportunity to live like Jesus here in this world.

Are you reaping the benefits of gratitude? I challenge you with that question as I would venture to say most people are not. November is the month the calendar encourages us to focus on thankfulness. I appreciate the scheduling of a time to concentrate on gratitude but let us not restrict it to this time. The ability to give thanks and praise is a process that can have a profound impact on feelings, thoughts and outlook any time of the year. It is also what we are called to do as those who have been redeemed as our scripture above states. The poetry of Psalm 107 provides a template for our own gratitude.              

To begin gratitude comes from the core belief that our God is a good God. His goodness is all around. Notice I said “His” goodness. His goodness may not look like our goodness which is why we must be more intentional in seeking it out. If we are only looking for the good we seek, our flesh may limit our vision. Investing in our relationship with God by getting to know Him through His word, obeying His Word, trusting His word, heeding the Holy Spirit’s direction will increase our ability to recognize His goodness.   

Also, in maturing our process of gratitude we must take the “whole” approach. Gratitude is not meant to be this deceiving view of only the wonderful things while denying or forsaking the devastating ones. That truly does not make sense when living in a broken world where we experience things such as hurt, crime, illness and destruction. In this psalm different journeys are revealed through several vignettes. Each one tells of a lowly starting point such as wanderers in the wasteland, prisoners in utter darkness, fools in their rebellious ways or ships tossed in high waters. It is humbling to recognize what life would look like without our loving and good God to appreciate the magnitude of what Jesus did for us. As the psalm shares, He delivers us and leads us to a city we can settle in, He brings us out of the darkness and breaks our chains, He heals us and rescues us from the grave and He stills the storm and hushes the waves. Taking the “whole” picture into account will help deepen the scope of our gratitude. 

Lastly, the vivid pictures and poetry of the psalm really stand out. This exhibits a practical strategy to use in our gratitude. Challenge yourself in sharing your thanksgiving to speak to the details. When most of us are asked, “What are you grateful for” we can quickly give the usual answers such as my family, friends, job, home, etc. I want to task you with praying and thinking about what specific elements of your family you are thankful for. Maybe it is the way your spouse provides for your family or what an attentive grandparent he is. You could also focus on the events of the day or current season of your life. For example, I was stressed thinking about the many tasks I had to do to prepare for the holiday and my spouse surprised me by taking one of my list. When we dive into the details, we are exercising our ability to give thanks and build the gratitude mindset/perspective.   

The second stop on this journey of exploring His-Esteem is to dig a little deeper into the concept, self-esteem, and how it is defined by the mental health world. With that information, a comparison of a biblical worldview can be conducted and any conflicts between the two identified.

In my research of the term self-esteem, I did what has become a quick go to in our lives with so much information at our fingertips. I “Googled” self-esteem.  My first question, “what is the origin of the concept of self-esteem”, noted a total of 1,270,000 results. My second question, “what is the meaning of self-esteem”, displayed an overwhelming 43,200,000 results. Being transparent, I admit I did not look at all those results nor was it ever my goal. The search results confirmed the overwhelming amount of information available. It also demonstrates the difficulty in deciphering information to pinpoint a credible source.   

I chose a comprehensive definition of self-esteem from the American Psychological Association. This definition provides detail to identify conflicts in utilizing the mental health lens to view ourselves and a biblical lens. See the APA’s Dictionary of Psychology definition below:

Self-esteem - the degree to which the qualities and characteristics contained in one’s self-concept are perceived to be positive. It reflects a person’s physical self-image, view of his or her accomplishments and capabilities, and values and perceived success in living up to them, as well as the ways in which others view and respond to that person. The more positive the cumulative perception of these qualities and characteristics, the higher one’s self-esteem. A reasonably high degree of self-esteem is considered an important ingredient of mental health, whereas low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness are common depressive symptoms.

The first conflict noted relates to the following – “the degree to which the qualities and characteristics contained in one’s self-concept are perceived to be positive”. Self-esteem views our qualities and characteristics in one’s self concept as starting out as neutral, but hopefully ending positive. An infant is a blank canvas and then an array of factors such as physical image, events/circumstances, successes or failures, relationships or lack of relationships, etc. throughout life can add to or take away from it. Positive experiences in these categories increase self-esteem, however, negative experiences decrease it.    

At the core of a biblical worldview, it is not a neutral start. Humans, all humans, fall short of the glory of God and have a flesh (sinful nature). The scriptures I share below denote this and begin to help us understand the complexity of our sinful nature.

This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
Romans 3: 22-24

For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing.
Romans 7:18-19

Our starting point is the need for reconciliation with God through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and living out that new relationship with the help of the Holy Spirit. Once it is understood that all fall short and then accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior our new life begins. Self-esteem and a biblical worldview look to have two different starting points.

In the APA definition, there is no mention of God and the role He plays in our life. Definite conflict right there! Some may state beliefs pertaining to the Christian faith would fall under what is noted as “values”. This definition allows for individuality in using the term “values” as each person can substitute whatever they chose to be their guide or moral compass. However, this leads to another conflict. Just sticking faith and who God is and how He loves us under that broad term “values” has a diminishing effect. Our faith is so much more than a “value”. Although the entire Bible depicts the explanation of our faith, I chose the following verse to try to emphasize how much more our faith is than just “values”.

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:4-9

“Made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions”, “seated us with him in the heavenly realms” and “God’s handiwork” do we want to minimize all of that to just put it under the category of “values”? Our new life in Christ becomes our identity and it is more than just a “value” we follow, but a life we live.

The last conflict I would like to point out speaks to the flow of how this is worked out in our lives. According to the definition, our physical image, accomplishments and capabilities, values, our success in living up to them, how others view and respond to us are all to be taken in to help establish this view of ourselves. Humor me for a moment with this visual. Stand up, reach your hands out in front of you and start grabbing at imaginary objects. Once you grab one of those imaginary objects pretend to put it in your heart then grab at another one and do the same. Do it a couple of times to get the picture of all the things the self-esteem definition details can be an influence on our self-concept. Those things could include parents caring for and nurturing you, having healthy relationships, and doing well in school or a career. However, that list could also consist of a broken home life, being abused, having an illness, being introduced to drugs/alcohol or pornography.

Allowing these factors to have such great weight on identifying who we are and how we feel about ourselves is troublesome for several reasons. It can create idols in our lives either chasing after those things seen as positive (a great family, successful career or beautiful body) or negative ones (material possessions, drugs, alcohol or lust). We can also take on a warped sense of self based on either our poor choices in those areas or the uncontrollable circumstances we have had to face. We can have anger towards God or continued distance from Him because we see those things as making us unworthy. Self – esteem is potentially a set up to fill our hearts with things that were never meant to fill it.

Now I want you to take your hands, reach them high above your head, grab at what is above you, move your hands in a downward motion from your head to your heart then extend your arms outward in front of you and eventually spread them wide open. This is the visual of a biblical worldview. God, all He is and what He did for us through His Son Jesus Christ, fills our hearts and shapes who we are which then flows out into those aspects of our lives. Those aspects no longer define who we are, but we learn to relate, cope, respond, etc. to them through our identity in Christ. Changing that viewpoint is truly transforming!

Can you see how different those lenses are? I share this information (which seemed like a lot) to foster a deeper look at the concept of self-esteem and how it conflicts with a biblical worldview. I encourage you to do your own searching, digging and evaluating as you may be surprised to what God reveals to you.

 Part 3 of His-Esteem will begin to examine a model God gives us in His Word on how to view ourselves in light of who He is and what He did for us. We are going to be introduced to the church of Colossae and some of the struggles they dealt with. It will be interesting to see how much we have in common with the Colossians and what we can gleam from the message Paul shares with them.         

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
2 Corinthians 10: 3-4
 

Self-esteem is defined by the Meriam Webster dictionary as “a confidence and satisfaction with oneself: self-respect”. Most people are familiar with the term self-esteem and can give an assessment of their own self-esteem. The goal is to have high self-esteem which is believed to be linked to less mental health problems and a happier life. On the opposite end noting low self-esteem marks worry for concern and often seen as the cause for various challenges.    

On my faith journey, I have increasingly struggled with the term self-esteem as seen through the lens of the mental health world. I remember first trying to understand the concept of looking through different lenses in my social work graduate program. One of my professors frequently used the word “lens” in conjunction with the different modalities/theories we would use to view our potential clients, the issues they were seeking assistance with and the treatment plan. She instructed that putting on the different lenses (modalities/theories) would guide how key issues such as life, death, relationships, marriage, etc. were viewed. She was also adamant that conflicts would exist between lenses, and we had to make sure how we assessed the client and/or their problem accurately aligned with the lens we were using.      

I share all this to explain how conflicts between the lens of the mental health world and the lens of a biblical worldview exist. The term self-esteem is a mental health term and aspects/implications of it do not completely align with a biblical worldview. With best intentions we may try to adjust it to a biblical lens but due to its different origins and purposes it will not fit.

However, do not lose heart. Acknowledging this conflict does not mean God is insensitive to how we see ourselves. It does not indicate God is callous to our intricate details including our mental health.   Actually, it is quite the opposite. God cares and loves us so deeply that He did not want to live eternity without us thus sending His Son to die on the cross for our salvation. That is going to be the lens we use to view ourselves and within that will see how that plays out in our identity and value.    

Over the next couple of posts, I am going to take a journey through the book of Colossians. This journey will explore the biblical worldview regarding who we are and our value. The scripture above reminds us that though we live in the world the lens/worldview we use must be different than what the world uses. The title His-Esteem notes our identity and value come FROM who God is and how He loves us. I hope you will join me on this journey.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!
Galatians 2: 20-21

 

With my words, I will tell you over and over how accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior has drastically changed my life. God’s grace and mercy is from nothing I have done, but all about what Jesus did. However, I am one of those people that gets “stuck inside my head.” And unfortunately, it is not with all the pleasant stuff. When I make a mistake or a poor choice, my negative thoughts play as a continuous rerun in my brain. I have shared a common thread of how my negative thoughts impact my feelings/mood and actions below:
 

I recently found myself in this thread again. Through inspiration from Craig Groeschel’s book, Winning the War in Your Mind, I sought to identify the lie at the root of this spiral. Once I discovered the lie, it needed to be challenged with the truth of God’s word and then made into a declaration for my life.

Through that process, I recognized I put an unhealthy weight on myself and my works for righteousness. I beat myself up to the extent that I took what Jesus did out of the process. I focused on me instead of Christ living in me. I concentrated on my imperfectness instead of my perfect Jesus giving himself up for me. Just like Paul had to remind the believers in Galatia that seeking value in the Jewish law for righteousness discredited Jesus’s sacrifice so do I when I hold too much weight to all that I do.

I cannot do enough to gain righteousness and if I truly had to depend on my own works, I would never make it. My freedom comes because Christ did not die for nothing but instead died for everything!